Dealing With Competition Among Siblings
Tips for reducing competition
Competition between siblings is often demonstrated by the statement, "That's not fair" or "What about him?" Competition stems from comparison and often creates distance in relationships between brothers and sisters.
Here's a new habit you can develop which goes a long way to reduce the comparison and competition between your children. Treat each child uniquely and don't try to treat all your kids the same. Intentionally give them different privileges, assignments, and responsibilities. Avoid grouping the children by saying things like, "Kids, it's time to eat" or "Boys, let's get in the car." Instead, use each person's name and give separate instructions. "Bill, please wash your hands and come to dinner." "Karen, come join us now for dinner?"
When children compare themselves to each other they say they want equality, but that's not really true. What each child wants is to feel special. When you treat them uniquely, and focus on each child independently, you'll be surprised how much comparison and competition are reduced in your family.
This parenting tip is taken from the book, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, in You and Your Kids," by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. The book is a biblical study of the concept of honor applied specifically to children and their parents. Or if you'd like help developing an action plan for your family, consider a phone coaching session with Dr. Scott Turansky. Check out these and more resources for your family at www.biblicalparenting.org.
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