Taking a Break vs. a Time Out
Turning Whining Into a Positive Attitude

When you begin to see a bad attitude or hear that manipulative whining voice, require your child to “Take a Break.” With young children, as young as two or three years old, have them sit in a particular place, a chair, a carpet square, the hallway, or a bottom step. For older children you might send them to their room or to the parent's room or to another quiet place.

We believe that “Taking a Break” is much better than “Time Out.” The instructions given are simple and clear. "You need to go “Take a break. Come back and see me when you're ready to talk about this." Two differences are important. The child knows that the objective in Taking a Break is a changed heart and the child also helps determine the length of time spent in the break place, coming back only when ready for a debriefing.

These two differences between Time Out and Taking a Break change the posture of the parent. With Time Out, the parent is the policeman, keeping the child in the chair until the sentence for misbehavior has been served. With Taking a Break, the parent is eagerly waiting for the child to return
so that positive family life can continue.

Taking a Break helps parents address heart issues with children and can become a primary discipline technique. It actually comes from the Bible in the teaching of discipline in God's family, the church (Matthew 18, 1 Corinthians 5, and 2 Corinthians 2). The idea is basically this: If you can't abide by the principles that make this family work, then you can't enjoy the benefits of family life. The two go hand in hand.

For more information about how to implement the idea of Taking a Break, see chapter on the four steps of correcting children in the book, "Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids," by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. www.effectiveparenting.org