Thanksgiving Across The Holidays:
Ceremonies of Thanks
By Dr. Felicia, aka F. Felicia Ferrara

Families across America are busy hustling and preparing for the upcoming holiday season. While Thanksgiving is traditionally celebrated on the third Thursday of November, families can learn to activate small ceremonies of Thankfulness throughout the year. As with all acts of giving, the more one gives to others, returned benefits of well-being and fulfillment are sure to be realized. The following exercises are offered in honor of the upcoming Thanksgiving Day, but are by no means restricted in use to that one single day, named Thanksgiving.

Despite horrendous threats of devastation offered during Hurricane season, most Florida's faired well after all from so many tropical storms gone wild. Thus, for citizens of the Sunshine State, the first step in giving thanks is to focus on final relief from 2004's Hurricane Season.. Giving thanks for minimum damage or recovered losses should be easy as each individual family member shares personal fears, concerns, and initial worries.

When stricken with threats of traumatic devastation or crisis, emotional reactions arise and often linger for some time; and depending on actual experience, some may never forget Hurricane season of 2004 or how immobilized Florida communities became when frenzied evacuations permeated every community to some degree. All the more reason to give thanks on Thanksgiving, as what could have been never materialized to such horrendous proportions of destruction initially predicted by weather alerts.

Often families rally when first news of a crisis is spoken. However, some family members respond with more resiliency than others, but as soon as initial spurting and emotional reactions subside, daily schedules resume and priorities return to routine tasks of superficial meaning. Whether trials and tribulations concern health issues, finances, relationships or other, ceremonial thankfulness sets priorities into place. Expressing thanks in the means of ceremonies or rituals tends to increase feelings of well being as emotional concerns and personal thoughts are shared with caring others.

Try any one or more of the following exercises with the family and watch the ripple effect of increased meaningfulness and fulfillment that arises from interactive exchange. If small children are present, it may be explained simply that each person is to identify something to give thanks for each day.

Ceremonial Activities

1. 'Dinner Forums' At the end of each day, have each family member place a thought of thankfulness in a small box. If preferred, each may verbalize what occurred that day that deserves a thankful thought. The act may be something done to them, for then, or by them, such as "I am thankful for the time a teacher took to talk to me" Or, thankful thought may center on some momentous event or thought that transpired such as, "I am thankful for the beauty of blue color in the sky."
2. 'Thankful Actions' Each family member expresses an action purposed to help others such as visiting an elderly in thank for their wisdom or helping mom with a chore in thanks of motherly love.
3. 'Open Box' Families with older children with various work schedules may need to leave an open box available for each family member to drop a thankful note each day, to be read when family may be together on the weekend.
4. 'Family Circles' may be formed evenings or weekends, wherein each member expresses self thoughts of appreciation on some event of the day. Such reports should focus on something meaningful to that person.
5. 'Thank Logs' may be maintained by each person on computer or paper that may trigger memory when the family gathers to speak of each event.
6. 'Stick 'em notes' Extremely busy families may all come and go at different times of the day. In such cases, families may need to start a practice of leaving stick 'em notes on each person's door to continue to let them no someone is thankful about as aspect of their existence. It is amazing how quickly a small note of thanks can put a smile on one's face.

Procedures May Vary

Procedures for sharing thoughts on giving can range from simple to complex, wherein one thought per person is discussed. Or, if collected thoughts from each week are discussed in a family circle on the weekend, a lottery box may collect each thought, only to have a designated party pick one folded paper out of the box, thereby family members speak spontaneously of thoughts of thanks.

Secondary Outcomes

1. Increased Insight. Expect to be surprised. As children reveal such thoughts of thanks it may be surprising what action provoked strong emotion within your child as private thoughts of children are often surprising to parents. For example, while a parent may feel the greatest act of giving was to buy the child that new pair of roller blades, the child may be thankful because dad spent private time with him when both awakened during the night and ate that bowl of ice cream. So expect surprises, particularly out of the mouth of babes.
2. Value Clarification is another outcome of exercises noted above For example, if your teen becomes increasingly self-absorbed, as many do, such exercises are a chance to explore and model what elements of life deserve special thanks. Usually, such deeds are those that are momentarily passed between persons, not within an item of object of desire. In either case, family interactions are sure to grow as one applies the simple activities noted above. In short, the ultimate appreciation is to be recipient of the love of another, be it, parent, child, siblings, or intimate partner. Appreciate and give thanks. God Bless.

Dr. Felicia, aka F. Felicia Ferrara (c) Copyright 2004